


What Should Have Happened

by EmeraldChick96



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fix-It, Gen, Psychologists & Psychiatrists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:00:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29582721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldChick96/pseuds/EmeraldChick96
Summary: Anakin discovered that Palpatine was a Sith Lord, and now all he has to do is sit still in the Council room and let the Master Jedi handle it. But Palpatines plan to save Padme's life looms in his mind and it shakes him to his core. He leaves the cuncil room with no plan in mind, and find hiself in the halls of healing asking for help. He didn't mean for them to put him in the psych ward. That is what honesty gets you. With his child about to be born, and his nightmares of Padme in distress increasing, has Anakin made a big mistake? Or is this the will of the Force?
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 4-4-19 

I have never been able to sit still in my life. Ahsoka thinks I have hyperkinesis, which is a joke cause only children get it. So sitting here trying to meditate in the council room was a pain in the ass. I was playing through everything that happened last night and today.

I was in the middle of dinner with Padme, the first time we had seen each other in a week thanks to the stupid war and the Senate schedule, and Palpatine summoned me to his box seat at the opera.

Padme sighed.

“I have to,” I said. “I am spying on him.”

“No go,” she said. “It’s fine.”

“I know. I was gone like five months and then I came home and it feels like we still barely see each other,” I said kissing her neck. “I have to go.”

“What does he want?”

“Something about the war probably.”

“When will you be home?”

“I don't know. But if it's after midnight, I’ll wake you up in an entertaining way, huh?” I kissed her again and headed out the door.

“This is why I am a pacifist!” yelled Padme.

I grinned and blew her a kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

He told me he was a Sith Lord. The karking Chancellor of the Republic was an e chu ta Sith Lord. 

I couldn’t sleep that night, and I went to the Jedi Temple the next morning and found several Jedi Masters including Master Windu getting ready to load into a gunship.

“Master,” I said.

“Skywalker,” said Windu. “We are going to arrest Chancellor Palpatine and make him give up his powers.”

“He won’t,” I warned. “He is not controlled by a Sith, Master. He is a Sith.”

For the first time in my life, I had Master Wiundu’s attention. “What?”

“He is a Sith Lord.”

“How do you know?”

“He told me a Sith power. A power that can stop people from dying, and can only be performed by the Sith. He said he can tea- He said he can do this.”

“Why would he tell you this?”

I thought for a minute. The truth was, I was interested in the power, but I couldn’t say that. I shrugged, “He trusts me, because of our friendship.”

“He is using you Anakin,” said Windu. “For what purpose I do not know.” He put a hand on my shoulder. “When is the last time you slept?”

“Last night.”

“Eight hours straight?”

“I don’t know.”

“When is the last time you ate?”

“Last night.”

“What did you eat?”

I tried to think what Padme made but I couldn’t. My mind wouldn’t work. “I don’t know,” I muttered.

“Go to the Council Room, and just sit there. Alright?”

“I want to help.”

“Skywalker once in your life, do as you're told,” he said.

I bowed. “Yes Master.”

Now I was in the chamber, and I felt like I was losing my shit. My head was pounding, my heart was beating out my chest, and I wanted to scream or something. I couldn’t breathe. Finally, I thought, Screw this, if I get expelled, I get expelled.

I left the room, and went through the Temple towards the Southern entrance. My plan was to go to my ship and just go help Master Windu, e chu ta the consequences.

“Master?” said a small child.

I turned to see a small human girl looking up at me. She had brown thick curly hair like Padme, and blue eyes like me, and something in me wondered if our child would look like this.

“Yes, youngling?” I said.

“I don’t feel good,” she moaned.

I put my good hand on her head and felt she was burning up. Frowning, I realized this kid needed medical attention and fast. Palpatine and Master Windu would have to wait.

“Okay,” I said, picking her up. “Come on.”

I took her to the Halls of Healing in the Temple. As we were walking, she shook in my arms, and I took off my cloak and wrapped her up in it.

“What is your name?”

“Leia Kotelt,” she said.

Leia, I thought, that is pretty. I am gonna add that to potential names if it's a girl.

“You got a good name,” I said.

“You got a good one too. Sky-walker.”

I smiled.

We reached the medical unit, and two healers came out, one male, one female, both human.

“Hello, what is wrong?” asked the female healer.

“I don’t feel good,” moaned Leia.

“I think she has a fever,” I added.

The female healer took Leia from me, and placed her on her hip. Then she placed a hand on Leia’s forehead.

“Okay,” said the female healer, “let's go on back,” and she took Leia back into a room.

“I am gonna wait on her,” I said to the male healer.

He cocked his head to one side, and pulled out a data pad. “Actually,” he said, “why don’t you come on back and we can get you taken care of too.”

“What?” I asked incredulously, “I am fine.”

“Really? Cause your breathing like you just ran a marathon, your sweating, your hands are shaking, by the looks of it you've been crying, I am guessing you have had a nasty headache, and you look exhausted, so let me look you over. It won't take five minutes.”

“Can I say no?”

“Sure,” he said. “But I am going to make a report to the council, and I'm pretty sure you are going to be in here tomorrow.”

I rolled my eyes. So much for trying to be good for Windu.

I followed him into the exam room. There was a table and a scanner where they do a scan of your body and it reads what is wrong with you. I got up on the table, and tried to lay still, but I was nervous so I let my fingers fidget. The scan went through me pretty quickly, and it didn’t take longer than half a second, then I got to sit up.

“How do you feel?” asked the healer.

“I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Your blood pressure is 137 over 110.”

“What?”

“That hypertension, bad hypertension. And your resting heart rate is 77, which is also not great. Also, you are your 6’3”, and you weigh 170. That's a little over twenty pounds underweight. What is going on, Skywalker?”

I shook my head, and shrugged, “I feel fine,” I said.

“No you don’t,” he said. “Now what’s wrong with you?”

E chu ta, I thought. “I think Chancellor Palpatine is gonna kill somebody,” I whispered. “And I think he is gonna use me to do it.”

They called an ambulance, and a clone escort. They put a force inhibitor collar on me, and binders on my wrist.

“General,” said one of the clones, “We don't know what is making you feel like this. It is just a precaution. You are not being arrested.”

I nodded, and they laid me down on the float bed, and got me in the ambulance. The force inhibitor collar made me feel worse than I already did, because it cut off my connection to the Force, which was like my air. Also, to make matters worse, I couldn’t feel Padme anymore. My hands shook, but I was determined not to cry in front of clones. I was the chuba hero with no fear! And whatever was happening to me, it was nothing a little alcohol and a dance with Padme wouldn’t cure.

“Your blood pressure is really high, and your heart rate is elevated,” said the medic, “I am gonna give you a sedative, its called H4b. It’s just gonna relax you and make you sleepy.”

I nodded, and the drug hit my system. It didn’t do anything for a minute, as I saw the daylight of Coruscant shift on by. But soon, everything shifted and started to blur together.

“I’m gonna pass out,” I mumbled.

“Just take a deep breath, general,” said the medic. “You’ll be fine.”

I sighed and my eyes closed.

There was a beeping sound. Why was there a beeping sound? I tried to roll over to turn the alarm off, and something on my chest pulled. Ow.

“No, no,” said Padme. “Lie on your back.”

I turned back and opened my eyes. My wife was standing there, with her hair down in curls, pulled back in a silver headband. She was in a green dress that she wears before the Senate, wearing that perfume I like. I couldn’t help myself, I reached up and kissed her, and for once, she didn’t pull away.

“Hey, Ani,” she said.

“Hi.”

“Don't get mad.”

“Okay.”

“I had to tell them we were married. It was the only way they would let me see you,” she said with tears in her eyes. “I think I just got you expelled from the Jedi Order.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “Remember, I told you I don’t care anymore.” I leaned up and kissed her. “I would rather wake up to you, then anyone else in the galaxy.” I kissed her again.

“Awe,” came a voice by the door, and we turned to see Ahsoka standing there.

“What do you want, Snips?”

“Rex, get in here they’re kissing!”

Rex poked his head through the door. “Very romantic.”

“Can we have some privacy?” I asked.

“You had privacy for three years,” said Ahsoka. “You have been married, married! Since I have known you, and you have the audacity to tease me about Rex and Obi-Wan about Satine!”

“Anakin,” said Padme.

“Hey you tortured Obi-Wan with me!” I said pointing to Ahsoka.

“Yeah, but I was a virgin. I was having fun, you were being a hypocrite.”

“Okay,” said Rex. “Before Obi-Wan gets here let's get the interesting details. How did y'all meet?”

“I was Queen, and we were leaving the planet, when our ship was damaged and we made an emergency landing on Tatooine,” said Padme. “Anakin won the money to fix the ship, and won his freedom because he was a slave. He became a Jedi and I went back into politics. Ten years later, someone tries to kill me, and Anakin is my Jedi protector, we go to Naboo, and fall in love. The Clone Wars break out, we decide to get married and keep it a secret.”

“So that’s why,” Rex said.

“Why what?” said Anakin.

“Why you always snap to attention when we have a mission on Naboo. I figured that was your home planet because you never talk about your home planet, but it's the home planet of your girl, that makes sense.”

“Yeah, I guess we kind of acted a little strange when it came to being around each other,” said Padme, “with the war and all.”

“A little strange?” cried Ahsoka. “Is that what we are calling it? God, we would be on a mission to Naboo and something would happen to Padme, and I didn’t know if Skyguy was gonna kill everyone else first and then kill himself, or what?”

“Don’t say that!” I chastised her. “They’re gonna hear you and think this has been going on for a while, and I am gonna get locked up for life or something.”

“Oh, Ani,” said Padme, running her fingers through my hair.

“Okay, next question?” said Ahsoka, “Who came onto who?”

Anakin laughed. “I came onto her. A lot. I finally wore her down.” And I kissed her.

“Who was the first one to say ‘I love you’?”

“She did,” I said.

“What?!” said Padme. “You said it first.”

“I said ‘you were torturing me’, but you said, ‘I love you,’” I said.

“That’s splitting hairs.”

“‘You're torturing me?’” asked Ahsoka, “sexy Skyguy.”

“I was nineteen years old, and had been raised by Obi-Wan, okay? I got better.”

“Yes,” said Padme. “You have gotten so much better now that you are ‘blinded by love’.”

Ahsoka died laughing, and Rex smirked. 

“Shut up Rex!”

“I would have never guessed that because of the way you're with women now,” said Rex.

“What?!” asked Padme.

“E chu ta, Rex,” I said.

“Who are you flirting with?” demanded Padme.

“No one, just sometimes, were under cover and I have to be the suave guy because let’s face it Obi-Wan can’t and I sweet talk some girls.”

“Like who?”

“No one. I think the one time we did it there was this slave queen that I kind of had to charm, so I charmed her.”

“Huh,” Padme said.

“Don’t be mad,” I said.

“I’m not mad,” she said.

“Nothing happened.”

“Was there an opportunity?”

“What? No!”I turned to Rex. “I am gonna kill you.”

“That’s something you tell your wife,” he said.

“Apparently, he neglected to tell us a lot of things,” came a voice by the door.

We all turned to see Obi-Wan standing there.

“Master,” I said.

“What in the Force’s name is going on?” Obi-Wan cried.

“Padme and Anakin are married!” cried Ahsoka. “We are gonna have a wedding! Oh, when is your anniversary? It would be so cute to have it on the same day.”

“9.30,” said Padme.

“Lets see it's the beginning of month four. I can plan a wedding in six months. We can get your mom, and don’t you have two sisters? Yeah, we can all pull our head together and get it done.”

“Alright,” said Obi-wan, ``That is fantastic. Why are we all in a medical center planning a wedding?”

I sighed. “You know the Sith who is influencing the Chancellor?” I said.

He nodded.

“Found him.”

“What happened?”

“It’s Palpatine.”

“The Chancellor is a Sith?”

I nodded. “And he wants me to turn to the Dark Side and do horrible things.”

Padme grabbed my good hand, and Ahsoka rubbed a foot.

“And, I actually thought about it,” I said shakily. “So I checked myself in here.”

“Wha-”

There was a knock at the door. “Hey,” came a nurse poking her head in. She was a human with an Inner Rim accent, “how is it going?”

“Could be better,'' said Ahsoka. “But they're getting married.”

I rolled my eyes.

“So who is everyone?” said the nurse.

“This is Padme, my wife-slash-fiance apparently. This is Obi-Wan, my Master. This is Rex, my Captain. And this is Ahsoka, my Padawan.”

“Hi everyone.”

“Hey,” came a chorus.

“Good evening,” said Obi-Wan.

“So, I am a psychiatrist,” she said. “So there are two people, there are psychiatrists and minders, do you know the difference.”

I shook my head.

“So a psychiatrist listens to what’s going on, what you're thinking about, and decides if you need medicine. A minder listens to you and we talk about what your feelings and how to change your thinking patterns and change your behaviors. Have you been to a minder before?”

I shook my head.

“Have you been to a psychiatrist before?”

I shook my head.

“So you aren’t seeing any doctors or on any medication?”

I shook my head.

“Okay. What is going on?”

I sighed. “You're gonna think I am crazy.”

“It’s okay.”

“I can see things before they happen. Always have been able too. Don’t know why. Helped me in podracing, battle, lots of stuff. Well, when I was 19, I ’saw’ my mom die, and I went to go save her, but she died anyway. Now, I am seeing other people die. The Chancellor offered to teach me a way to stop this, but I have to kill people.”

“Okay,” she said. “Do you want to kill someone?”

“Yes.”

“Who?”

“Padme is pregnant, and I am seeing her die in childbirth in my sleep. And I will do anything to stop it. Palpatine said that if I kill people, I could.”

“And you're considering it?”

I nodded. “I know that makes me a horrible person, but I don’t know what to do.”

“Okay,” she said. “So is there a plan?”

“He is a Sith, so I am guessing I would kill the Jedi.”

“How would you do it?” she asked.

I smirked. “I am pretty tough when I let myself go,” I said.

“I mean do you have the means outside of using a saber?”

I laughed darkly. “How do you want me to prove it?”

“Just tell me.”

“My favorite is choke. Been using it for the last couple of years. You just wrap the force around someone’s neck and just start pulling. It’s so poetic. You don’t even have to touch them.”

“That is a Sith move, Anakin,” said Obi-Wan. “How did you learn that?”

“Same way I learned everything else. Just stretch out with my emotions, and do it.”

“Who did you hurt?” asked the doctor.

“The animals who killed my mom,” I said.

“What did you do to them?”

“They can’t hurt anyone else anymore,” I said.

“How did you know who did what to your mom? Did you just kill all the men?”

“I slaughtered the whole village,” I whispered.

“When was this?” cried Obi-Wan.

“A day before the battle of Geonosis,'' said Padme.

“You knew?!” he roared. “You knew and you didn’t tell me!”

“I was protecting him,” said Padme.

“He needed to come to the hospital then,” scolded the psychiatrist.

“I thought... “ she sighed. “Whatever.”

“Well, Anakin," said the psychiatrist, "even though you don’t have an intended target, and you are willing to give yourself up, you have killed Sand People in the past, and your a skilled warrior and I know you could hurt someone if you wanted too, and both those factors place you at a high risk for being homicidal.”

“So what does that mean?” I asked.

“I think you need to go to Veterans Mental Care Hospital.”

I swallowed hard. “Okay.”

“It’s in Galactic City,” explained the psychiatrist. “It is very good.”

“Where in Galactic City?” asked Padme.

“The Senate district.”

“That is just a little bit of ways from me,” said Padme. “Can I come see him?”

“The hospital will have visiting hours.”

“Can we signal him?” asked Ahsoka.

“If he is not in a group, yeah.”

Ahsoka grinned at me.

“Um, he might want to talk to his wife, Ahsoka,” said Obi-Wan.

“Well, whatever,” said Ahsoka.

"Do I get a say in this?" I asked.

"Actually," said the psychiatrist, "because you have already committed an act, I am going to recommend an involuntary commitment, meaning you have to go."

I slammed my head back on the bed, and nodded. "E chu ta!" I whispered quietly


	2. Chapter 2 4-5-19 Benduday

I spent the night in the hospital. Padme slept beside me, in the bed, and Ahsoka, Rex, and Obi-Wan slept in chairs. I told them to go home, but they said that they had nowhere to be.

We got up in the morning, and they took shifts going to the cafeteria to get their breakfast. Mine was brought up to me. I had lemonade, hotcakes, eggs, and a pear.

“Remember this?” I said, and I made the pair dance.

Padme laughed. “Stop it.”

“What?” asked Obi-Wan.

“Well, when we were dating, or Ani was hitting on me and I was saying no, Anakin fed me pears using the force.”

“Aw, that’s cute,” said Ahsoka.

Rex raised an eyebrow at me.

“And then I slaughtered a village of animals cause they killed my mom,” I said puffing out my chest.

He smiled. “I have done things to impress a woman that was not exactly something I wanted written on my tombstone. As long as it works.”

“Y’all are such guys,” said Ahsoka. “What’s wrong with being romantic?”

There was a knock on the door, and the doctor came in. “Hey, good you got breakfast,” she said smiling. She looked at me and added, “In about three hours, we are gonna move you.”

“Oh, okay,” I said.

“Yeah.”

“Um. Do they leave?”

“No, because they need to come and talk to the doctors about what you were like, and how you cope with things. See I just said that you needed some help. The doctor over there is going to determine how long you need to be admitted and what your diagnosis and treatment plan is.”

“How long are patients typically in the hospital?” asked Obi-Wan.

She sighed. “I hate this job,” she muttered. “They are looking at a long term stay for you.”

“How long is long term?”

“A month to three years.”

“What?!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Obi-Wan put his hand on my chest. “What are they planning for Anakin?” he asked.

“We have no way of knowing until he gets to the hospital, and if his condition worsens they can keep him longer than projected.”

I was shaking so hard the bed was shaking.

“Okay, thank you doctor,” said Padme.

“I am not doing it,” I seethed.

“Anakin,” said Obi-Wan.

“Padme has two months left in her pregnancy. My kid is gonna be three years old before he meets me!”

“Or, you can be out in a month, and be there for the final stretch, and the kid won’t even know what happened,” soothed Ahsoka.

“That’s if they fix me in a month!”

“Ani,” said Padme, cupping my face. “It doesn’t even matter how long you go. As long as you come home to me. If you aren’t here, we just tell the kid you were on a mission okay.”

“I’m supposed to be there. We are supposed to go to Naboo.”

There was a knock at the door, and we all turned to see Master Yoda. I take a deep breath and stop shaking. It’s not good for the ranking Jedi Master to see me lose my mind.

“Master,” said Obi-Wan bowing.

Master Yoda bowed.

“Rex, lets go get some coffee,” said Ahsoka.

“We have coffee here,” he said.

“Come on!” she growled.

“Okay, we are going to get coffee!” he said.

Padme squeezed my hand a minute. “I am actually gonna go call Bail. He has been calling me almost every other hour trying to figure out what is going on.”

“What does he know?”

“That we are together, but he doesn’t know we're married, and that I am pregnant, and you checked yourself into the hospital on psychiatric reasons.”

“Does he think I am hurting you?”

“Oh no,” she said laughing. “You may be a Jedi, but he would find a way to kill you if he thought that. No, he just wants to know what’s going on.” She rubbed my good arm. “It’s time for the lies to stop.”

“Okay,” I said.

She gave me a kiss, in front of Yoda, of all people, and walked out the door.

“Well,” said Kenobi. “I am going to go tell 501st that you are alive, married, expecting a child, and take questions. I’ll try to be back by dinner.”

“Hey can you mention I can kill people with my mind,” I said. 

“Why would I mention that?”

“Cause it makes me awesome!”

“Shut up Anakin,” he yelled.

I turned to the small master who was sitting in the chair that Ahsoka was occupying.

“Are you comfortable, Master?” I asked.

He nodded.

“I am blasting the heat, cause growing up on a desert planet I am always freezing, but if you are too warm the thermostat is right above your head to the right.”

“Fine I am,” he said.

I nodded.

“How feel you, Skywalker?” said Master Yoda.

“Scared sir,” I said.

“Coming into the room, sensed your fear. Distressed as well, you were.”

“Yeah,” I said. “They want to send me to a long term facility. You can spend up to three years there.”

He nodded. “Veterans Mental Care?” he asked.

“Yeah how did you?”

“Been to it before, I have to see a friend.”

“Who?”

“Qui-Gon Jinn.”

“What?”

“Fell ill he did when Dooku left the Jedi Order. Refused to tend to himself, despite having a padawan. Sought the counsel for guidance, Obi-Wan did. Had Qui-Gon committed, stayed there for about a month.”

“Obi-Wan never told me this.”

“No purpose, it served. Hmm?”

I nodded.

“Sense your fear, I do. A powerful weapon, fear is. What do you fear?”

“I am gonna ruin everything.”

“Call you to the Dark Side, Sidious did. Tempting it is. Train you, we must.”

“You were tempted by the Dark Side, Master?”

“Tested I was. Passed, I did. But tempted,” he bent his ears. “Yes, tempted.”

“How?”

“Sadness, despair, anger, rage, thoughts of revenge, I had.”

“Against what?”

“Lived 850 years I have. The Dark Side, many faces it has. Sith Temple of the past, dangerous it is for jedi. Visited it, I did, on a mission, during these wars. Found the place where Jedi sacrifices were made, I did. Several Jedi who died there, I know. Hmm. Sensed their pain, I did. Anger, sorrow, fear, hate, I felt.”

“You can't hate anybody,” I said. “Your too one with the force.”

“Fall, even the mighty can.”

“What did you do?”

“Run,” he said. “when the dark is overpowering, run, the light must.”

“You were overpowered?”

“Hmm, failed, I did.”

“You didn’t fail. If you would have failed you would have turned. That was the test. You are no less a great master now then you have ever been. You might be a better master. You didn't fail, you resisted.”

“As did you, Young Skywalker,” said Master Yoda.

“What?”

“Assignment from the Jedi Council, you completed. Test your loyalties, this assignment did. Stay true to the Jedi, you chose. Tempted, you were, seduced, you were not. Jedi Master, you are.”

I could not believe the words I was hearing. This whole thing was an e chu ta test? And I passed! I didn’t know if I was elated or pissed. Of course I was happy. I was a Master. That meant I could learn how to stop Padme from dying, and finally just be recognized for my ability in the Force and not that kid we rescued from Tatooine a few years ago. I had finally proven myself. It just took me landing in the fucking hospital to get here.

“I don’t know what to say,” I finally said.

“Hmm,” said Yoda. “Rest you must. Heal you will. Come later, the time to make decisions will.”

“Master? What will happen to Ahsoka while I am in the hospital?”

“Oversee her training, Obi-Wan, your master, will. Care for her emotionally, your wife will.”

“We can do that?”

“Done already without permission, have you not?”

I smiled sheepishly.

“Hmm. Forgive me Skywalker.”

“For what?”

“Three years ago, on assignment you were, and sensed your pain on Tatooine, I did. Horrible pain. Recognized anger, grief, mourning, sadness, fear, confusion. Lost your mother, informed by master Obi-Wan, I was. On how to proceed, unsure of myself. Grieved in such a way, never had a Jedi. Did nothing, I chose to. Matters worse, that made for you. Address the matter, I should have. Natural, grief is. Natural, anger is. My fault, this is.”

“I miss her,” I whispered. “I always have.”

“Normal, that is.”

“I don’t want to feel that way again,” I whispered. “I am scared Padme is gonna die, and if I am a Sith, Palpatine tells me she won't, that is the only reason why I even want to do this.”

“Deceiving you, Palpatine is.”

“Great, I am going to a psychiatric unit for nothing.”

Yoda laughed. “So impatient with healing, you young people are. Address much, you will, young one. Visit you, we will, and discuss further training.”

“Training? I thought I was getting expelled from the order.”

Yoda sighed. “Escaped Sidious did. Only one who can stop him, you are.”

“I don’t know if I have it in me, Master.”

“Go to the clinic, you must. Rest and heal. Then back to the Temple, you will come. And train you, the council will, to be the Chosen One.”

Two clones came in at about 1000.

“General Skywalker,” one said.

“Yes,” I said.

“Time to go, sir,” he said.

Padme rubbed my arm, and kissed me, and Ahsoka gave me a hug.

“You can follow us,” said the other clone. “I think the doctor typically wants to talk to the family to get an idea of medical history.”

Padme rubbed my back, and Ahsoka hugged me. Rex clapped me on the back.

“It’s a fifteen minute drive!” said Obi-Wan. “We are not sending him off to the Outer Rim.”

"Bye Master," I mumbled.

"Just go with the clones, and I'll come see you in a moment, Padawan."

The clones put me in binders again, and escorted me outside. They put me in another ambulance, but this time I got to sit up. One clone sat with me, and one sat in the front and drove. I turned around to stare out the back and see if my family had followed us.

“What are your names?” I asked. You always ask a clone for his name unless it is an emergency, as Rex has taught me.

“I am Knife,” said one.

“I’m Dungeon,” said the other.

“Knife and Dungeon are taking me to my doom,” I muttered.

“No,” said Knife. “Look, call us whatever you want, General. Just try to relax.”

“There good names,” I said. “Hate they’re wasted on this. You could be carving up droids.” I glazed back and tried to see Padme’s speeder.

“Who are you looking for?” asked Knife.

“My family.”  
“They followed us out and got into a silver transport that could seat about six of them,” said Dungeon. “There following us, we will see them at the hospital.”

“Your observant.”

“Not the first time this has happened.”

“What is gonna happen to me?” I asked. “Give me the real shit.”

“Best advice,” said Knife, “don’t worry about how long they keep you. You will start lying to get out of there and you’ll fuck yourself over. If you feel like shit, tell them. Scream it, if you have to. It’s best they get your meds right now, then you have to repeat this all over again.”

I nodded. That sounded pretty good. Just lose my shit, if I wanted to. “Okay. What’s it gonna be like?”

“Well,” said Dungeon, “you are going to have a schedule, and they typically stick to it pretty well. There is going to be a psychiatrist, a group minder, your personal minder, several nurses, couple medical droids, and techs.”

“Techs?”

“Yeah clones that do kind of keep an eye on you, make sure you're not holding yourself up in your room, make sure you're taking your meds, and they get you anything you need. They are the ones who really take care of you. Best advice: find some techs and learn their names. If you need anything go to them.”

“Can they smuggle you things?”

“If they want to lose your job. But you would be amazed at what work-arounds they have come up with. Just ask a tech and they won't let you down unless it’s impossible.”

“What about conjugal visits?” I asked.

He laughed. “What got you a girl or something?”

“I might.”

“Well, you will have to talk to the doc-”

“Whoa!” screamed Knife. “Pull up!”  
I looked to see what was happening, and a speeder was out of control and was coming straight for us. Dungeon was trying to move the transport but he had it in the wrong gear and it wouldn't accelerate that fast.

“Hit the break,” I commanded.

He stomped on it.

I used the force to shift gears from the back seat and put us in fifth.

“Gun it.”

Dungeon flew over the incoming speeder barely, and we pulled out of there. No one said anything as we flew closer to our destination towards the hospital. Finally, Dungeon broke the silence.

“How did you do that?” asked Dungeon, looking at me.

“You couldn’t accelerate that fast in that gear so I shifted it,” I said.

“No I know what you did,” he said. “How did you do it? You have a fucking inhibitor collar around your neck.”

“This thing slows me down, but it doesn't cut off my connection to the Force. If I can concentrate, I can do things.”

“That’s supposed to be impossible,” said Dungeon.

“I’m not gonna hurt anyone,” I mumbled. “I just need to be away from somebody so that they can’t get to me and make me a weapon. I know that sounds crazy but it’s true.”

“Look,” said Knife, “they take the collars off when we get to the facility anyway. They aren’t gonna release him until he is stable. I don’t see why anyone needs to know.”

“You want me to lie on a government report?” demanded Dungeon.

“All you are gonna do is buy him extra weeks before he has even gotten there and talked to them. And for what, he was saving our lives.”

Dungeon sighed, and didn’t say anything for a long time. “It never happened. Speeder came to close, I pulled up, barely missed each other.”

“Thank you,” I said.

Veterans Mental Care Hospital looked like any other building in Coruscant. It was a big tall building made of glass, and it looked like a big rectangle. I stared out my window as I looked at my home for the next foreseeable future. It wasn’t an ugly building, but I preferred Padme’s apartment. 

We landed on one of the lower levels, and Knife and Dungeon let me out. Knife walked me into the building where the rest of my family were.

“We were about to send a search party,” said Obi-Wan.

“Some idiot cut across three lanes without looking and nearly clipped us,” I said.

“You alright?” said Padme.

“Yeah, we're fine,” I said. I looked at Knife. “Now what?”

“The nurse should come and take it from here,” he said.

“Here I am,” said a woman. “Hi, I got this.”

“Alright, let's take these cuffs and collar off you,” said Knife. “Hope you feel better, sir,” as he walked out.

“Anakin?” said the nurse.

“Yep,” I said.

“Okay, come on back. We don’t bite.”

As she led us into a large elevator, large enough to hold three float beds, I grabbed Padme’s hand. She squeezed it and leaned in on me. We went up sixty floors before the lift let us out.

“Go straight across,” said the nurse.

We went into a small conference room that could fit everyone comfortably. I pulled out Padme’s chair as she sat down, and she smiled at me.

“I get to do things for you now,” I said.

“I know,” she said.

“Watch this,” and I kissed her on the lips in front of Obi-Wan.

She laughed.

“Newlyweds?” asked the nurse.

“They think they are,” mumbled Obi-Wan.

“Okay,” said the nurse, “Anakin come with me for a moment, and we can get you set up. We will be back here in like five minutes.”

I gritted my teeth cause I didn’t want to leave Padme, but I followed her anyway. She led me to a doctor's office that said, “Intake A” on the door. After shutting the door, she turned on the medical droid, and had me lay down on the bed.

“New patient?” asked the droid.

“Yes,” said the nurse.

He scanned me, which I had to stay still for, and a readout came on her data tablet.

“High pulse, high blood pressure, low BMI, category: severely underweight, physical exhaustion, weak immune system, and migraines," said the medical droid.

“What do you recommend?” asked the nurse.

“Proper rest and nutrition. Some physical exertion is acceptable, but he is overexerting himself.”

“I can’t sleep at night,” I said. “Nightmares.”

“Then focus on the nutrition,” said the droid. “Also, there are ways to rest without sleeping, as our fine doctors and minders will teach you. I want him to have a dose of vitamin paste at breakfast every day.”

I paled because that stuff was disgusting. Obi-Wan made me take it when I first entered the order because I was so underweight and malnourished from being a slave. I had to beg him to let me stop after six months. It tasted like eating sand. 

“And you need to be on the Wookie diet,” he said.

“What's that?” I asked.

“Five fruits or vegetables, a whole grain starch, a dairy, a glass of whole fat milk, two portions of meat, at least two of the meats fish a week, some seeds, nuts, and oils, and fluids.”

My eyes widened. “You want me to eat that much in a week?”

“You need to eat that much in a day,” said the nurse.

My jaw dropped. “I’d vomit. I’d literally vomit. I was a slave for the first few years of my life. Dinner was an apple, water, and some bread, and that got you through the night. I am telling you there is no way in hell I can eat that much.”

“We’ll work you up to it,” she said. “You know we can start small. You will get your appetite back.”

I moaned.

“Getting healthy is a pain,” she said, laughing.

I nodded.

We walked back over to the conference room, and I sat in the chair beside Padme.  
“Anakin isn’t feeling well,” the nurse said.

“We know that,” said Ahsoka.

“He has a high pulse and high blood pressure, he is very underweight, he is not sleeping well, and if we don't address it he can begin to get sick. He already is getting migraines.”

Padme rubbed my back, and it began to make my headache go away.

“How much is he underweight?” asked Obi-Wan.

“Twenty pounds.”

Obi-Wan gave me his look, and I could not tell if it was a look of utter disappointment, or exasperation, but it made my skin crawl.

“I was hunting a Sith Lord! Yell at me later!” I snapped.

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You were thinking it!”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“But you wanted to!”

“Damn it Anakin! Am I allowed to be worried about you? I go hunt Grievous, you go track to see who is manipulating Palpatine, and now Palpatines a Sith Lord, and you're in the bloody hospital. When am I allowed to be upset?”

“Just say it! I let you down! I failed and now everything is messed up because of me!”

“You are so bloody arrogant!” screamed Obi-Wan. “You think the universe is dependent on your ability to save it. Sometimes the bad guys win Anakin!” He quieted down to a whisper. “Sometimes the bad guys win. It’s not your fault. Your childhood. Your mother. The War. Visions of Padme’s Pregnancy. This. It’s not your fault.”

No one said anything for a moment. A tech came in and put some food in front of me.

“Dinner,” said the nurse.

“I’m not gonna eat this much,” I said.

“Eat!” demanded Obi-Wan.

“Eat half of it,” said Padme.

“Of everything,” said the nurse.

I ate a little, it was okay. I just wasn’t hungry, but everyone was staring at me, so I ate, and I ended up eating more than half. Damn, I was a slave for the first ten years of my life. I just don’t eat. I don't have something psychologically wrong with me. Although I was here because I had something psychologically wrong with me. Anyway, I took my time eating, because I was scared my family was going to have to leave when I was done. When I finally couldn’t drag it out anymore, the nurse looked at the chronometer.

“It’s almost 19’00 hours,” she said. “That is visitation every night. You can have as many visitors as you want, but they can only come in two at a time. And they only have an hour, but the Jedi can cheat.”

“How?” I asked.

“We can go over the schedule later, but the Jedi will come in and meditate with you and help train you to make sure your illness is not leading you towards the Dark Side. This will be an hour a day everyday and it doesn’t count as visitation, but as therapy, so long as it is a member of the Jedi Council.”

“Anakin thrives off the sensation of other life forms,” said Obi-Wan “especially when he is meditating. I think he would do well if his Padawan accompanies me.”

My heart thumped in my chest. I could meditate with Ahsoka and Obi-Wan every day.

“I don’t know if we can do that,” said the nurse.

“Just a thought,” said Obi-Wan. “Mention it to the psychiatrist. I think it will benefit Anakin.”

She sighed, and said, “I’ll make a note,” and scrawled on the datapad.

Obi-Wan nodded and winked at me.

I grinned.

“Well, since you are not used to the floor, and everyone is here, why not just have visitation in here, you got until 20’00.”

I nodded, and she left the door cracked, and gave us some privacy.

I ran my fingers through my hair. No one said anything for a while.

“Ahsoka pulled up this place while we were driving here, sir,” said Rex. “They seem to be very successful. We were looking at it. Most short term patients relapse, but long term patients seem to do really well.”

“Once you start showing some progress,” said Ahsoka, “They take you on an excursion once a week. They have gone to the ballet, out to a fancy dinner, gone to the gardens. You know you're not just stuck here for the whole time.”

“Okay.”

“See Anakin,” said Padme, “we can come see you, and you can go out and see Coruscant. You’re not trapped here.”

“Uh-huh,” I said.

“Anakin, talk to us,” said Obi-Wan. “Are you angry? Or scared? Or sad?”

“I’m,” I stopped to swallow a lump in my throat. “I’m cold.”

Padme reached out and grabbed my good arm and started to rub it. “Yeah, it’s gonna be okay, Ani.”

“Come on Skyguy,” said Ahsoka, “You have been worse than this. Remember, we had to take that hutlett all the way back to Tatooine. I was pretty sure you were gonna lose your shit then. Or what about taking down the Zygarian Queen. You hated that, but you did it. You can do anything, you just got to hype yourself up to do it.”

“Yeah,” I said. “But I could get angry and kill someone in those situations, Snips. Pretty sure I can’t do that here. This would be easy Padme was in danger, or we had to free slaves. I wouldn’t like it, but it would be easy. Right now, they want me to deal with everything. Why I hate hutts, why I left my mom when I was nine, why I killed Tusken Raiders, why I considered turning to the Dark Side. Why I am scared, why I am angry, what I am so bent on revenge for things that don't even happen to me, just people I know. Hell, they probably want me to deal with who my dad is, for all I know.” I sighed. “I just had to sit in the fucking room. Why couldn’t I do that?”

“Anakin,” said Obi-Wan, “You’re unwell and you're going to a hospital until you feel better. There is nothing wrong with that.”

I chuckled. “Windu will find something wrong with it by tomorrow morning.”

“We aren’t against you Anakin,” said Obi-Wan.

“Oh yeah?” I asked. “Whose idea was it to use me to spy on Palpatine?”

“Anakin.”

“No really,” I said. “You don’t trust me enough to make me a Master, but you want to use me to make me a double agent. Whose idea was it?”

“Ani,” mumbled Padme.

I threw a glance at her.

“Was it yours?!” I asked Obi-Wan.

“No, I was against it,” said Obi-Wan. “I knew you did not play politics like that. You were too young.”

“So who's idea was it?”

“Yoda said that we needed more information on Palpatine before we could act.”

“And?”

“Windu suggested he would confide in you more than any other Jedi.”

The table shook, and what remained of my dinner fell off and the plate broke on the floor. The cabinets started to slam open and shut.

“Anakin, breathe,” said Obi-Wan.

“Skyguy,” said Ahsoka, “it's okay.”

“Anakin!” yelled Padme.

“You let him set me up,” I seethed.

“What is going on in here?” asked a nurse.

Padme was suddenly standing in front of me, which was a really dangerous place to be.

“Get out of the way Padme!” I said.

“No!” she said, twisting her fingers through my hair. “Look at me! LOOK! AT! ME!”

I stared into her eyes and saw tears in them. Realizing I had caused the tears, I whipped it away with my good thumb.

“It’s done,” she said. “It’s over. It was a horrible mistake okay? They fucked up! But you are not gonna let it ruin our lives.” Her voice broke. “Forgive them! Forgive them, Ani. For me. For the baby. A lot of stuff has happened to you that any normal person would be angry about. So get angry! But come back to me. Cause we got a baby on the way. And I can’t do this without you.”

The anger went away and I wrapped my arms around Padme and kissed her forehead.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

I looked at Obi-Wan, and he was crying. Why are we all crying? I thought. 

“I’m not mad at you,” I muttered at him. “I just feel betrayed.”

“I know,” he said. “And I’m sorry.”

The nurse came back in with a comlink, my comlink, and gave it to me. “There are times when the comlinks are down,” she said. “This is during groups and things. But during free time, you can signal someone.”

I grinned at Padme.

“If I don’t pick up Coruscant is on fire,” she said.

“I know.”

“Hey,” said Ahsoka. “Now you get to say, ‘I have to leave this meeting my husbands in the hospital and I haven't seen him all day.’”

“Can we send him messages?” asked Obi-Wan, “seeing how these two will be signaling each other like teenagers.”

“If you can't get through to him, send a message or signal to this number, and give this code, and we will pass the message along. When the doctor thinks he is stable enough, he can get a datapad, and that will get messages right to his screen.”

“Why the code?” asked Ahsoka.

“Privacy reasons. If the press, or someone who does not have the code or direct line to the data pad calls, and asks for him, legally we can't divulge any information about him, or even that he is getting treatment.” She looked at Padme. “Every time you call that comlink, you have to put in that code, or it won’t go through.”

“Here,” said Obi-Wan handing Padme the now treasured piece of paper, “I’ll give it to you, and you send it to everyone.”

“Okay,” she said.

“How long till I get a datapad?” I asked.

“Till we figure out you're not gonna hit someone over the head with it and try to escape. Some people get one the next day, some people still don't have one. Depends on how you feel.”

“I should get one tomorrow,” I said to Padme.

She smiled and nodded, but her brow was furrowed, and I could tell she hated this as much as I did.

They had to leave. I really didn’t want them to, but I knew they couldn’t sleep here and they would have to leave me some time. 

“Who do you want to see tomorrow?” asked Padme.

“Whoever I can,” I said.

“Okay,” she said.

She kissed me, softly, and then harder as if wanting to press me up against the wall and take me there. I was going to let her. But of course Obi-Wan interrupted us by clearing his throat.

“Let them help,” said Padme.

“I promise.”

Ahsoka came next, and she kissed me on the cheek. Then she reached up, and wrapped her arms around my neck and I picked her up, and spun her around.

“You're like a sister to me you know,” I said. “I want my kid to call you Aunt Ahsoka.”

She sniffed, “Well, get better, and we can go give Palpatine the Skyguy and Snips special!”

I laughed, “Deal!”

I looked at Rex. “Take care of the 501st,” I said. “You're in charge. No matter what Jedi they assign to you. You're in charge.”

“We’ll do our jobs, sir.”

I shook his hand.

“Hug for god sakes!” yelled Ahsoka.

Rex embraced me. “Get well sir. You're the only one we like taking orders from.”

I grinned.

Finally, Obi-Wan walked up to me, and put an arm around my shoulder. “Take your time, be honest, take it day by day, and you will feel better in no time, alright.”

I nodded.

“I love you,” he said, hugging me.

“I owe you everything,” I said. “I’m sorry.” Sorry I lied about Padme for years, sorry I was fucked up and in this situation, sorry I wasn’t the Chosen One I was supposed to be.

“Take your time, be honest, take it day by day, and you will feel better soon,” he said again. He hugged me. “I’ll come see you tomorrow.”

I nodded.

They started to leave, and I just sat there and watched them go.

“Bye, Skyguy,” said Ahsoka, leaving the room, “love you.”

“Feel better, sir,” said Rex, following her.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, right after dinner,” said Padme, blowing me a kiss.

“And I’ll be back in the morning with Master Yoda around 1200 hours,” said Obi-Wan, walking out the door.

Tears flowed down my cheeks and I wrapped my arms close together. I felt like a kid, in my first night in space. The nurse came in and I wiped my tears away to hide that I have been crying.

“Did you eat anything?” she asked.

I nodded not trusting my voice.

“Okay,” she said. “Why don't I take you to your room. Come on.”

"There are ten rooms," she said, "and there are two beds per room, both the same gender. That was the hold up. We had a bed for you, but you needed a male roommate."

I nodded and got up and followed her silently. She slid her key card, and the door opened, it was a different door then where my family had left. She lead onto the floor, which was a big circle. All the rooms had numbers and a button to open the door.

We got to a room that had a seven etched on it. She swiped a card through a pad and punched a code.

“Because the floor is so big, we split you up into groups. Your in group B, and your group minder is a Torguta named Duldash, but everyone calls him Duldy.”

“Okay,” I said.

"Authorize," came a voice.

"Put your hand on the pad," she instructed.

I put my good hand on the pad and the door opened.

"There," she said, "just use that hand on the pad and you can get into your room. Your roommate, doctors, nurses, minders, and techs can get in here too, but none of the patients can."

"Roommate?"

"Hey Jasmine darling, is that you?" came a voice from the fresher.

"I'm not alone, Chance," yelled Jasmine.

“Better get some drawers on,” came a shout. “Hand me those shorts on the bed.”

She grabbed the underwear and threw it into the fresher.

“Thanks, there's also the pajama bottoms.”

She grabbed a black pair of sweats and threw it through the door.

“Need anything else?” asked Jasmine.

“Some beer would be nice.”

Jasmine rolled her eyes. “Get out here so I can properly introduce you.”

“I’m coming,” he said and opened the door to reveal a half naked clone who looked a little bit like an older Rex by maybe a year or two. He had let his hair grow out to be long and shaggy, covering down to his ears and the base of his neck. He had scars up his left arm that looked like a knife had cut into him, and he had a tattoo on his chest that said “276.” I tried to think who was in command of the 276th right now, but I couldn’t think of it. In fact, I hadn’t even heard of that battalion. 

“General Anakin Skywalker,” said Jasmine, “this is Captain Chance.”

“Not anymore,” said Chance, shaking my hand.

“Yeah, the war will be over by the time I get out of here,” I joked.

“They’re letting you out?” asked Chance darkly.

“Chance!” scolded Jasmine. “Healing takes time,” she said softer.

Chance rolled his eyes.

“Chance please don’t give up on yourself!” pleaded Jasmine.

“Jas, not tonight. I’m not in the mood.”

“Fine. Let’s not talk about it. Please make Anakin comfortable.”

“In this place?”

Jasmine pleaded with her eyes.

Chance smiled. “Fine, but you don’t get to do that to me for a week.”

Jasmine smiled, and left.

“Sorry for the cold welcome, but you will probably leave here before I do,” said Chance. “If I leave. Anyway, your bed is there,” he said pointing to the one by the window. “It takes them two days to get your clothes and shit processed, there faster all the other days, so you want to go to the nurses desk, find Shoem, he is Mon Calamari, and ask for hygiene supplies, towel, and two changes of scrubs, the good kind, not the shit kind you got on.”

“Shoem?”

“Shoem.”

I left the room, and wandered down the hall to the nurses desk. It was the desk in the center of the circle. There was a Mon Calamari and a human there at the desk.

“Um, Shoem,” I asked.

“May I help you?” said the Mon Calamari.

“I’m new, can I have some scrubs, the “good” kind, hygiene supplies, and a towel.”

“Are you a large or an extra large?”

“I’ dont know..”

“How tall are you?”

“Almost 1.9 meters.”

“Are you gonna have to lie sideways in the bed?”

“I can lie down in it. My feet touch the edge, but they don't fall off.”

We reached a cabinet, and he put his thumb on it and it unlocked. He got me three towels, three washcloths, a bar of soap, a 3-oz bottle of shampoo and conditioner each, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a hairbrush, and a 3-oz bottle of non-alcoholic mouthwash. He put it all in a tub marked “Skywalker” on it.

“Thanks”, I said.

“You have to bring it back,” he said. “We lock it up when you're not using it.”

“Why?”

“Cause people eat the soap and try to get drunk on the mouthwash.”

I moaned. “Fuck me,” I whispered and went to take my shower. At least the water was hot, as I washed my body. I scrubbed every inch of me, twice since I had not had a shower since that night I went to the opera with Palapatine. Damn it! Why didn’t I just tell him I was busy? I just stood in there for a long time and let the water rush over me. The numb feeling was starting to grow back and I was hoping the hot water would chase it away. I tried to think how long it had been that I had felt weird, off. It was before my mom died, but it had gotten increasingly worse sense then. What am I gonna do if they fix me? What am I gonna do if they can’t?

Finally, the hot water turned cold and I shut it off. I dried off, and changed into my sweats, then brushed my teeth and combed my wet hair.

I wandered back into the room, and Chance was on his bed reading a book, it was an old fashioned book with binding and pages.

“Where did you get that?” I asked.

“My commander brought it to me the last time he came to visit me. Probably read it seven times already. You can have datafiles here, but I like the old fashioned stuff.”

“I don’t read, but my wife does. I can ask her to bring you something tomorrow, if you're bored with that.”

“Really?”

“It might be the Naboo constitution.”

“I don’t care! I can quote this book.”

“Yeah. I’ll call her in the morning and see if she can scrounge something up by visitation.”

“Thank you.”

“Sure.” I slid into bed. A thought popped into my head, and I figured I should warn him.

“I don’t always sleep well at night,” I said, “so if I wake you up, I'm sorry.”

“I gave up trying to sleep months ago.”

I nodded, and rolled over, trying to force myself to dream about Padme, and not this horrible place.


End file.
